Other women flirt with my husband, but he does stop them. This leads them on, right?

Not to brag, but my husband is very good looking. In not...lol. Other women are constantly flirting with him, even right in front of me. Most of the time is women he doesnt know, because it will happen out in public.

My neighbor has a 2 year old son that we babysit sometimes. This morning when she dropped him off, my husband answered the door and she thought i was asleep. She said to my husband, 'Oohhhh daddy, arent we dressed up nice?" She said it in a flirting voice. But then in a plain voice she said, "Wheres your wife? Asleep?" All my husband said was , "No, she getting dressed."

This reaaly hurts my feelings. He says that he doesnt flirt back, which IS true, he DOESNT flirt back. However, he doesnt stop the other women from flirting with him, or he never says , "Sorry, i'm married." Wouldn't that lead them on if he lets them flirt with him? I know if i was single and flirted with a guy, and they didnt stop it, i would take it as a sign that they like me! I

Other women flirt with my husband, but he does stop them. This leads them on, right?layouts for myspace

well you've answered your own question really; he cheated and you dont trust him to say no.

You chose to forgive him and stay (obviously) so you're going to have to get over those feelings. You cant stay with him and then hold it over his head the rest of your life, you wouldnt be happy and neither would he. If you havent already gone to couples counseling I would do that. Staying in a marriage with someone who has committed adultery numerous times shows the depth of your insecurity and lack of self confidence. You dont have to deal with it, but you are choosing to. And since you are choosing that, make him go with you to the therapy and work through it.

Regardless if he had cheated or not, the flirting is an issue. People can say that 'married not dead' bullsh|t all they want to but its disrespectful and unnecessary. Talking is one thing, coming onto to someone expressing sexual interest is another.

Given his prior track record though, he should be more sensitive and mindful of these situations and rectify them as soon as they arise. Him not doing so is signaling to you (and others) that he hasnt learned from his ways and isnt really sorry about it. He's not trying to ease your mind or remove the behaviors that could escalate into another affair. He did screw up and should be kissing your feet and trying to make you feel better any chance he gets.

Give the counseling a try, if it doesnt get any better after that then you will again have to decide if youre willing to put up with him and his groupies for the rest of your marriage.

Other women flirt with my husband, but he does stop them. This leads them on, right?famous myspace myspace.com

HMMM either you trust him or you don't....seems to me you don't. If he is not flirting back I would say you are blowing out of proportion....i'm sure there will be alot of people who have a different point of view on this however. If a guy flirted with you it would probably feel really good, which is what it probably does for your husband....but he is not flirting back or anything so what is the problem? Jealousy can be a breaker in a relationship, especially when it is not warranted.

Good Luck
When a woman comes up to him in public you look them in the eye and say why yes my husband is a good looking man don't ya think? Not only are you telling them he is married you tell them you know what they are thinking most will back off. As for your neighbor.I wouldn't trust her. She knows you and wants you to watch her son and flirt with your hubby. I would tell her sorry isn't going to happen.
You are being too touchy about, he is good looking and other women are always going to flirt with him.

Seems he did good when telling the other woman "No she is getting dressed", that woman knows he's married so what should he have done.

Get over it, or get out. you are just going to drive yourself and him crazy with your insecurities.

You might try counseling
wrong...wrong....wrong.....your wrong about everything.....its your job to stop the flirting.....if he hasnt done it yet he never will...
I think the flirting is innocent. The woman gave your husband a compliment. He probably was "dressed up nice". Don't let it hurt your feelings. You are beautiful and your husband is with you. Be glad that your man is so fine. I don't think he is leading women on. And you know, some women are vultures, but you will know one of them and you will have to step in.
I think you're wrong. Your husband is doing nothing wrong, and he is not angry at being flirted with. You are the one who is bothered by their behavior. Therefore, since you are the one who has the problem with it, it falls to you to do something about it.

That said, I don't even see why it matters to you. We men who are married to attractive women have to put up with it constantly, because, believe me, men flirt with good looking women a lot more than women flirt with good looking men. Men talk up my wife all the time, but she's with me, so I just smile and tell her it's no wonder to me they're attracted to her.
He's not flirting back. If the other women are too stupid to notice he's not interested in them, that's their problem. He's not doing anything wrong.
It does not sound like he is leading on at all. In the example you cited, about him all dressed up, he could have said, "well, I knew you were coming over and wanted to look my best."

If he says anything to discourage them, he will just look vain and defensive. If you say anything, you will look terribly insecure. All of this is about the type of flirting you used as an example. If it gets directly sexual, I would alter my opinion.
You are being ridiculous.. So what if they flirt.. make yourself more flirty and sexy with him. Of course he enjoys the compliments.. who wouldn't?? Trust.. is there.. don't destroy it. You are insecure.. fix that.. then move on an have some hot sex with your.. I stress your husband. Number two reason for divorce the green eyed monster jealousy.
your husband is probably flattered with these other women flirting with him. he also probably thinks as long as he doesn't flirt back that it doesn't do any harm, even though it bothers you.

how often do you flirt w/ him? just b/c you are married doesn't mean that you can't flirt w/ him and chase him like b4 you guys were married!
I think this is something you should talk to him about, ask him why he is not stopping this and it is making you very uncomfortable!

You have got to talk to him about this, if you do not, it will grow and fester inside of you and cause more tention in your marriage, and you do not want that.

Communication and honesty and trust are just a few things to base a happy marriage on.
I had the same problem with my husband. The way I see it, he's not flirting back, so most women should see that as him being uninterested. A lot of people flirt without it meaning anything. He's not leading them on, by flirting back. And the maybe the reason he doesn't stop them is because it's an ego boost for him. And him saying, "Sorry, I'm married," isn't going to do much when the girls (like your neighbor) already know.
TRUST your husband!! If he truly feels that there is no issue then maybe it means way more to you then him!! He might not even realize that they are flirting with him.
He doesn't flirt back. That's the most important thing. I have much the same issue with my wife, in that she doesn't stop it, but at least she doesn't flirt back.

I think when you are with someone who is nice to other people, it seems rude to just bring someone up short like that. For one, it's very presumptious to think anything is intended by the flirting. As much as I'd like my wife to stop the guys short, that really is MY job, not hers. Just as this is YOUR job, not his. When women flirt with him in front of you, you can be polite, but you need to assert your presence. It sounds like your husband is loyal to you, so he'll take your lead if you do that.
This is tough dear,most men like that and yes you're right it could go further.

I would write a letter to my husband and explain my feelings,I think it's okay let him know you're hurt and jealous.

I would also try to stop the other women ,by any way you can .

You see dear for some reason ladies like to flirt with other men especially cute ones.and they don't care about our feelings so why should you care about them,defend what's rightfully yours in every way you know and if he loved you he'll understand,it's not only his responsibility but yours too.
Hi!

I could see why this would upset you. However, if he is not flirting with them, you really have no beef. If women come up to him while you are there, you need to address them. I would say, my baby sure is fine, huh? You have to trust that he loves you and that he is married to you so that is where he wants to be. The neighbor I would check. Especially if she wants you to watch her son, I would let her know that I heard her comment and that it was inappropriate. Good Luck to you!!
He is not responsible for other women - so when you say that he "lets them flirt with him" you are wrong. He has no control over other women's behaviour. And it sounds to me like he's doing exactly what he should be - not recirprocating. So what are you so upset about? Just because he doesn't feel a need to mention he's married doesn't mean he's leading them on. You need to get some self confidence and relax. Seriously..
OK.....my husband is also a great looking man.....EVERYBODY flirts with him. I am glad he is having fun in life. He doesn't flirt back, he has a great since of hum our and makes fun of it. When my friends play/flirt with him he makes them laugh. I am certain that when he goes to work that he gets hit on plenty, he works in a hospital. My point to you is that if a man has morals, is married to you and you have a solid relationship that there shouldn't be anything to worry about. I know that when a man flirts with me, I make fun. I Don't flirt back and that my husband has nothing to worry about. You say that you aren't good looking? I think probably that you are, do what you can to accent the good, fix yourself up, go to a salon, get the "treatment" makeup, hair, etc, go shopping for really flattering clothes, most any one who tries can be beautiful on the exterior as well as the interior. You will feel better. If money is an issue, find a special at the salon and splurge and thrift shops in upscale neighborhoods have some great clothes. Good luck....don't worry.
I had a bf that was so good looking... same scenario as you described. I was very flattered by the other women's attention. Never thought anything else about it.
i totally understand how you feel! it sucks. i would consider myself to be attractive, but for some reason the past two guys i have been with (were extremely attractive) and would get tons of attention everywhere we go. I was shocked at how bold and rude some women were, even while i was standing right beside them. anyways, the scenario that you posted about the neighbor coming over and saying that, i think your husband handled it well, seeing as he DIDN'T flirt back with her, so that was a form of a rejection on her part. however i know that you would have love to hear something like "my beautiful wife who i adore is getting dressed right now" but men many times don't think that far into things to give such an eloquent answer. i would step up the game some. don't act jealous or insecure by clinging to your husband or being rude, but if women do flirt with your husband in front of you, don't be scared to look them in the eye and make some kind of comment (possibly introducing yourself) assert your presence and let them know that your the queen bee. for instance when the neighbor woman came over and said that (don't be shy or feel awkward because its your man and that woman she be the one feeling awkward) i would have come up to the door and made some kind of comment like "isn't daddy looking nice for his wife today" and then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and walked off. she would have caught the vibe loud and clear. women are very intuitive about those things. and i would talk to your husband a little bit more about it. don't overkill it though because men like a confident woman. but tell him that you see him as the protector of your family and relationship and if someone does anything to threaten or disrespect your family or relationship be it man or woman you would like to see him step up to the plate and demand respect in someway. tell him you find that attractive and that makes you feel safe. good luck, i know how frustrating it is.

OKAY YOU'RE ADDITIONAL DETAIL OF HIM CHEATING MAKES A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE IN HOW PEOPLE ARE GOING TO RESPOND. YOU'RE HUSBAND HAS CHEATED ON YOU TWICE...NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE! HE'S GOT PROBLEMS AND I WOULDN'T TRUST HIM EITHER. HE SHOULD BE GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND TO MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE SINCE HE HAS CHEATED ON YOU. IT SOUNDS LIKE HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR YOU. QUITE FRANKLY HE SOUNDS LIKE AN A**HOLE AND I WOULD START PACKING MY BAGS BEFORE HEART ACHE STRIKES AGAIN.
Okay, you need to take a step back and look at what a rare situation you have. He doesn't flirt back. You can't stop a woman from flirting your husband. If they're determined to make an idiot of themselves and moon over him what he says to them is just fine. As long as he doesn't flirt back, he's cutting them off. Do the same women keep flitring with him? You said strangers right?

If youre husband answers the question, or better yet doesn't answer their questions and completely ignores them, he's doing all he can politely and without causing a scene to stop them from flirting.

That answer to her was the best answer he could have given. SHort and to the point, with a clear message, "No she's getting dressed," meant, "No, i'm not interested. Stop." He is most definately NOT leading them on.

Okay. the key word in your last statement, is "single" and you're a woman. Respectable married men take flirting differently. If they ignore it, or don't say anything, and don't encourage it, they're not leading anyone on. They're just doing just that, ignoring it. Do the women usually stop, or keep going? Or is it a different woman everytime?

Try not to be so hard on your husband. I don't think he's leading anyone on. If he doesn't flirt back, he's not trying to do anything underhanded. It may be his way of telling other women to stop and he's expecting them to know better and back off. If they continue to the point where it's ridiculous and he still does nothing, at least he's doing nothing, instead of doing something bad.

Talk to him...gently about it, if the latter is true. Just ask him, if it would be ok if he just said, "Listen, I'm married." For you, to make you feel better, ask him to just do that one little thing. Tell him you believe him (and mean it), that he isn't doing anything wrong, just to make you feel better. If he loves you i'm sure he'll give it a try.

Good luck!
WOW Gee I'm not sure your going to like my answer but here goes. Your husbands married NOT dead, hell I smile when a woman flirts with my husband, slip my arms through his and wink at her telling her something in a joking way of "Sorry he's all mine" or "Sorry I'm not sharing him" LOL. Don't try to make him feel guilty that he's a hottie. Be proud that he's YOUR'S you know. Now you have to remember that looking and flirting are just in peoples nature and alot of the time it keeps people knowing their still attractive. Don't you feel good when a man takes a look at you or says "damn she's hot" when you walk by? Hell I know I do , when a man openly flirts with me or looks at me my husband just smiles and puts his arm around me. This is your insecurity, he's obviously very much in love with YOU right? So try not to get your feelings hurt, dwelling on this will only lead to problems in your marriage. Right now it's just that you say it hurts your feelings BUT one day soon every time he walks out the door your going to think , well I wonder if a womans flirting and will he cheat on me. That's going to hurt your relationship big time. Good Luck hon a think of it this way, I'm sure you would rather have a man that women want to look at as opposed to a man no woman would look at!!!
I don't think it's wrong for him to be flattered, and that's all it is. Everyone is flattered when people find them attractive. When men flirt with you, don't you feel good about yourself and feel like smiling? I know you say you're not that good looking, but you probably aren't as bad as you think, especially in your husband's eyes. You know that it doesn't go beyond him being flattered by how he doesnt' flirt back. It's not like he tries to act like you don't exist when those women are around, he always acknowledges that you are there, which is important. That is how men subtly tell women that they are off-limits without being in their faces with "I'm married, stop" every time they get a compliment. Now, if you are somewhere and he leaves you to go talk to some woman that was flirting with him, that would be different (not cheating, but hurtful).
Unfortunately what I'm hearing is your insecurities about your looks vs. your husband's. This is really about you, not him. If he's truly a good looking man, he's used to women flirting with him, it's probably been a part of his whole teen and adult life. But the thing to remember - and I know it's hard - is that out of all those women he could have, he chose YOU. Even if you think you are not attractive, HE does and that should make you feel fantastic! If he wasn't attracted to your outward appearance, then something inside shined through and he was attracted to that. Don't nag your husband about this- I'm not sure how long you've been married but again, it seems like you have to work on your self esteem. True, he could shoot down their advances and shout to the world "I'm married" but he probably doesn't feel the need to. And he probably does enjoy the attention to a point, but still, he married you. If he wanted those other women he wouldn't have married you. If this continues to bother you, try fixing yourself up, if you need more hair, buy some, if it's make up, get some. Need a boob job, get it. Seriously, I feel like a little extra help in the beauty department, when needed, never hurts anyone. Good luck.
he may be thinking he does not want to be mean to these lady, the neighbor I am speaking of mostly...which is more important, how you feel, or how these ladies feel...let him know this! obviously your feelings are more important...she does know he's married and she probably knows he won't stop her from flirting at the same time...I am sure he will speak up if he has to eventually...so she keeps doing it...until he does say something, and yes, one thing can lead to another...if he lets it happen...=(...she probably flirts because she also knows he is quite handsome...and knows you are just the regular plain jane...no offense...I am a jane too, lol! Just keep an eye on this lady, This applies to the neighbor...now, So, some of these ladies think he will leave his plain wife for them, these are the ladies who he only sees in public now and then...but, you see, he married you, not them...keep remembering that! I am sure he will remain faithful...but, perhaps you could step in when you are around and let them know you are displeased w/ their comments...! Say, "Hi, I am his wife...and smile and hold his hand =)".
Well sista, i know ur pain. But this REALLY works

My husband is really good looking too and i am not but thats just the point, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. you just need to realise it.

I felt insecure at first but then i tried a different strategy and it works !! when women look at your husband trying holding him and kissing him affectionately, make a display of it, that puts them off totally cos they know the man is taken. and this keeps the sparks flying too (lol). Seriously try it. you're good looking too, i mean if u can land a man as good looking as your husband then its a matter of your confidence and self esteem. Dress up, look and feel sexy, that way u wont feel concious about urself.

And pleeeese let the neighbour take care of her own kids, she made them, she can take care of them, she sounds like trouble. make sure she gets the message if not from your husband then from u.

Smother him with affection the next time she comes round and make excuses, not to take care of her kids.

u owe it to yourself !!!!
What is the man supposed to do, act like a little boy? He cannot control what these women do. He can only control himself. Even if he says he's married, women will flirt with him. It didn't stop your neighbor, and she KNOWS he's married! Women are going to make their comments, whether he's married or not. Most of this is harmless flirting. You take it to another level, when you throw it in your husband's face, as if he's responsible for it.

Your feelings are too easily hurt and it's going to effect your marriage, if you don't stop pressuring this man. You knew he was attractive when you married him. He's very good looking--remember? You said it yourself. Now, you need to trust his judgement and let him handle this. Your husband sounds like he's handling it just fine. When your neighbor flirted with him, he ignored her careless comment and simply said his wife was getting dressed. He's a man, not your child; so stop pressuring him!
Wifey, let me see if I can get you to see it through his eyes. Now, we're going to turn this around and saying it you getting alot of flirts from the guys that see you. A guy saying this to you....oh my, I know it will be a lovely day, heaven open up its doors and send an angel my way. Another guy would said this; I have seen the beauty in a sunrise and sunset, until I saw you there is nothing like the best. Now, I will take the chance that you like these compliments. Since you get these kind of flirt most of the time, its normal for you and you have no interest to response to them. but what if your husband heard these wouldn't he want to fight back? Would the thought of insecure enter your mind? Remember this wifey, guys enjoys compliment too! As long he didn't start it or act interest in the ladies. There is no need to be upset, for you is time to get back flirting with your husband.
Ok, so he has cheated twice... and you took him back...

so what were your expectations of him when you took him back? it sounds like you may have both just agreed to work things out and you didn't demand that he makes sure to stop the flirting.

you should be more demanding. It isn't appropriate to flirt in any case, but the fact that he has cheated on you twice and still allows the flirtings to continue shows that he looooves the attention. Oh, believe me, he KNOWS he is good looking and he KNOWS how much the women are flirting with him. He KNOWS by not saying anything like "I am married" he is leading them on. If women are trying to flirt then he should not be giving them eye contact...

now that the nieghboor has done what she has done, which is CLEARLY flirting with your husband, you should DEMAND that you have nothing to do with her anymore. He should respect you enough to honor those wishes. Why does this woman DESERVE your friendship? She doesn't. You shouldn't help a woman out who is doing something like this.

you need to stand up for yourself more.
get over it..he is married, not dead